bubble bubble toilet trouble

so yesterday, my phone fell in the toilet. plop. i suppose that's the danger of keeping (and forgetting) it in your back pocket. luckily the water was clean...

it was a sad, sad day for amy hansen.

christmas and firearms.

so christmas was pretty awesome this year. oh christmas eve we did our usual thing and ate mexican food, watched a christmas movie, and opened ONE christmas present. although we almost had a mutiny on our hands when megan and peter lobbied hard to open all the presents in one go. kids these days...anyway, justice prevailed and they lost.

christmas morning dawned bright and early (orrrrr at 9:30 when mom finally came in to wake us up) and while megan and peter complained about the lack of coffee we herded into the living room to see the spoils. this year santa favored mom and dad, since they had to open 3 presents for every one of ours. my mom kept saying, "oh my goodness, how did this happen?" ha! like she didn't know...

christmas dinner: prime rib roast, baked yams, roast vegetables, garlic mashed potatoes, spinach salad...my brother is pretty much an expert chef. he can do things with spices that i didn't even know existed. it was fantastic. and then we watched planet earth. which is also fantastic and strangely addictive. all in all, it was a great day.

the next day, we journeyed to the desert to try out the boys' new christmas presents. gavin got a beebee (?) gun, although he calls it his "baby gun." jeremy tried to teach him how to shoot it.

jeremy: "ok gav, do you know how to hold your gun?"
gavin: "yeah!" (and proceeds to put the butt of his gun right on his nose. i see great things for his future as a gunman...)

i shot a pistol, a 40, and a 22. and i got 7 bulls eyes. because i am awesome.

this is what american families are all about.

mon rêve

so...this is what i want my life to be like. let's make that happen.



by the way i'm kind of on a french kick right now.
actually no, that's a lie. i'm just trying to brainwash you all so you'll like it too. LIKE IT!

love her, hate her, say what you want about her...

so i love britney spears. blame it on my 90's upbringing. i don't necessarily love her as a person, because she's a crazy, but man she peddles some good tunes. i've been pining after her new cd ever since it came out and today (oh glorious day!) my roommate heather brought it home. i shouted with glee, "it's a christmas miracle!"
ok so i didn't really, but i wanted to.
"circus" is just the thing to get me through finals with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

happy birthday mommy!

so today is the glorious day of my mom's birth. since i'm at school and can't really be there to do anything special for her, i thought i'd record the special musical number courtney and i played in church today so she could hear it too! the sound quality isn't fantastic (because contrary to popular opinion, we are not in fact professionals), but you get the idea.



anyway, happy birthday mom. i love you so much!

une explosion

i just sat in the same chair in the same room for 6 and a half hours. 9-3:30 of fundamentals of teaching, teaching techniques, lesson plans, syllabus, grade tracking programs...holy hannah. i think my head is going to explode. i'm already overwhelmed. but STOKED.

maybe i should go study for finals now. or go into a coma. maybe both.

tea for two

so when i was blog stalking my friend holli who's currently studying abroad in london, i saw that she had a tea party at a tea house there. and then inspiration struck, and whitney and i decided to have a tea party. here's how the conversation pretty much went:

amy: "i want to have a tea party."
whitney: "ok. who should we invite?"
amy: "we don't have friends."

(ok, so we do have friends. but most of them were working or concerting or doing something legitimately social.)

the point is: we had a tea party, and we liked it. you can mock all you want, but i know deep down inside you're thinking, "man...i want to have a tea party too."

the party.
(ok so we used hot chocolate instead of tea. because we like the word of wisdom.)

the partyers.

the partying.

wedding bells and turkey lurkey.

ok so i'm getting a little behind in my blogging duties...i can't really think of why though. it's not like i'm going to school or anything. oh wait...nevermind. anyway, stop your cryin' and feast your eyes on the brief recap of the past 3 weeks or so.

first, our (former) roommate hilary's wedding reception. this was a big deal. she had a countdown going from the beginning of the semester.as you can see, we rather enjoyed ourselves. we came, we ate, we sat anti-socially on the stairs and had a mini-photoshoot, we molested the wedding cake, said hi to mrs. oldroyd, and left. it was a good show.

fast forward to thanksgiving break. i made two pies. let me introduce you to my friends pumpkin and pecan:look how much fun i'm having.

and then we had thanksgiving with all the fixins. it was mmm mmmm good, and this was the first year i didn't go into a five hour food coma after the meal. it was a big moment for me.

thus ends the brief recap of my life.

who?

so tonight we got all who-ified and went to a dr. seuss birthday party. i decided i wouldn't mind living in whoville. because being a who is rather enjoyable.
some of the night's festivities included a donut (hanging from the ceiling) eating contest. as you can see from the various awkward moments caught on film it was not as easy as you'd think it would be.
the rest of the party pretty much consisted of a group of about 5 or 6 of us dancing while everyone else in the apartment stood around and coveted our moves.

bleedin' blue in black 'n white.

funny story: we went to the home opener BYU basketball game last night. we watched through the first period (which seemed ridiculously long to me), then sat through the break between the first and the second period (which also seemed ridiculously long to me), and then the second period happened (which continued along the trend of being ridiculously long!). then at what i thought was half time, everyone was like "ok are we ready to go?" and seeing as how i was freaking hungry (and to be honest, pretty bored) i jumped at the chance to get the heck out of there because i wanted a burrito. i was surprised that everyone wanted to leave the game early...little did i know the game was over. and i'm an idiot. because i had no idea that college basketball games were only 2 periods rather than 4 quarters. how foolish of me.

belated boo

so these are pictures from halloween last weekend...i'm getting behind in my blogging. it was a good night filled with party hopping and merriment. i forgot how much i lovvvve halloween since last year it was spent writing a paper. i made sure to clear my night this year so i could maximize the fun-having. please take note: i have a utility belt and pleather-like leggings. and let me just say...i wish i could wear those shiny leggings every day of my life. because they are freaking fabulous.

cavewoman, catwoman, and rainbow brite!

i coincidentally found a batman to pose with. i think it was meant to be.party!

mesdames et messieurs...

permettez-moi de vous presenter*...MOI!

four words: i got the job.

five words: i'm absolutely terrified but STOKED.

and we're going to skip 6 and 7 and go straight to eight...

i'm so in love with life right now.




*just know that that word has an accent on the first e but when i tried to do it the blog freaked out.

TAG

8 Favorite TV Shows
1. america's next top model
2. arrested development
3. project runway
4. iiiiiiiiiii don't watch tvvvvvvvv

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. slept in till 10...it was glorrrrrrrrious!
2. ate some cereal
3. went to class
4. went to a french internship meeting
5. watched moulin rouge with annie, carson, whitney, and jen
6. dressed up at catwoman and danced my fanny off.
7. stripped in my living room
8. ate some nachos

8 Things I Look Forward To
1. halloween....oh right. that's TONIGHT!
2. my interview next week for the SI job...
3. [MAYBE] being a SI next semester...
4. thanksgiving
5. living in the french house for spring/summer!
6. the new james bond movie. oh sweet heaven...
7. visiting my friend elena next summer...in FRANCE.
8. summer time=tan time.


8 Favorite Restaurants
1. chipotle.
2. costa vida.
3. zupas
4. j-dogs
5. paradise bakery
6. olive garden
7. rubios
8. chinese food

8 Things On My Wish List
1. SI job
2. a lightbulb for my bedroom
3. more time in the day
4. daniel craig
5. a tan
6. a classy black pencil dress
7. cute winter boots
8. a....SCOOOTER!

Tag 8 People
whoever the heck wants to do it.

wa-POW!

two words: TUMBLE GYM. a room filled with trampolines, a huge foam pit, blow up bouncy things, and basically everything you could possibly need to train to be a gymnast, or just have a ridiculously good time. there aren't too many pictures because we were too busy running around and doing flips into the foam pit or jumping over foam pad walls from trampoline to trampoline. the one downer of the night: my roommate heather totally sprained her ankle. she was trying to jump off the trampoline over a blow-up column, but instead she ran into it and fell over. we were all laughing up until we saw the pained look on her face. and then we felt bad. really bad. this video documents me flying through the air with the greatest of ease..orrrr jumping into a foam wall. i eventually did clear it and successfully jump onto the other side, but that unfortunately didn't get captured on video.

arts, crafts, and shiny shiny leggings.

so last night we had an arts and crafts night to make shirts. it was a fabulous way to get the creative juices flowing. dave brought over special screen printing ink especially for fabrics and we got down to business. look. look how focused we are on the creative process.

the end results....arizona flag, anatomically correct skeleton (for anatomy, not halloween), piano keys, roboti'm playing courtney. and she likes it.

after the t-shirt palooza, we got bored. and decided to...make a mock mormonad. and we wanted it to involve the shiny black leggings that i just bought for my catwoman halloween costume. we chose to liberally interpret the "be your own kind of beautiful one" by featuring different styles that are all...beautiful. har har har... please note that i never have, and never will in fact wear this outfit in seriousness and in public.

hit me!

so we're doing a creative non-fiction unit in my creative writing class...this is one of my pieces (a memoir) so far. i'm looking for some critiques, suggestions, possible title ideas? feel free to tear it apart...i can take it. anyway, here we go...

My suitcase felt as if it was harboring two small French children rather than clothes as I stared up the staircase that never seemed to end. The only thing standing between me and home was this staircase. And the metro. And the Paris airport. And the Atlantic Ocean.

"America...AMERica...AMERICA!" My voice screamed inside my head with each concrete step my suitcase lumbered over. I was sweating by the time I met Whitney at the top, my best friend who had come to Paris just for the weekend and therefore only had a simple backpack (French children not included). She had happily pranced up the stairs, stopping only to laugh and take pictures of my epic battle.

After surrendering my dignity to the staircase, my next point of combat became the urine-scented metro station. Dodging the accordionists and the homeless became the least of my worries as soon as I head the announcement-a strike. Whitney looked expectantly at me, oblivious. She didn't speak French. She didn't understand the newly developed complication. Finding a train running to the Paris airport suddenly became the quest for the Holy Grail. I searched the maps, my brain crying, "America...AMERica...AMERICA!" as my panicked eyes jumped from possible route to route.

"We're going to have to go up some more stairs," I said. We climbed, we ran, we panted, and we made friends with an Asian business man who valiantly joined our quest for the Holy Train. He spoke broken English, I spoke broken French, and Whitney smiled happily at the passing crowd of stone-faced Parisians until we finally ran onto the last train leaving for the airport, sighing onto the worn leather seats in a jumbled heap.

I exploded from the train at the airport station, Whitney and I clawing our way through the throng towards check-in. No I am not carrying a firearm, no I have not made purchases amounting to over $15,000 American dollars, and no I am not harboring French children in my suitcase. I passed with flying colors and handed over my luggage with relief. The gate and airplane were just ahead of me- I staggered towards them like a war veteran.

Take-off was bliss. I pressed my head onto the cool glass of the airplane window, seeing only the ocean beneath me. I imagined waves far below whispering, "America...Americaaa...Aaaamericaaaaa...."


ready....CRITIQUE!

oh bangit...

so i went to get my hair trimmed yesterday. but while i was there i decided, why not mix things up a little bit and get bangs? bangs in theory are a good idea. i always see people with them and think, "those are so cute! i should get bangs." and then when i get them, i hate them. they get in my eyes, they tickle the bridge of my nose, they kind of make me look 3 years younger than i am (which would put me at around 14 according to the people from my old work, since they already thought i was 17). i do this EVERY time. somehow i forget how much i don't like bangs every time i'm overcome with the impulse to cut some. the jury is still out but...so far i'm not a huge fan.

political pumpkins and family togetherness

so tonight for FHE we carved punnnnkins. it was quite entertaining. i can't even remember the last time i carved a pumpkin...i think i might have been ten. i forgot how much i like digging the guts out of the pumpkin and then sorting out all the seeds from the goop. you can see the progression from fascination to...well...anyway...after deliberating over what to carve, rick and i decided that a sarah palin pumpkin would be a good idea. after rick sketched out the face, i came to the realization that it more closely resembled janet reno...thus japanet renalin the pumpkin was born.the finished family punkins: swisha house (we don't know, the boys made it), batman, japanet renalin, and BYU.

amyology

i stole this, and the title from rhiannon's blog. thaaaaanks rhiannon!

**FOODOLOGY **
What is your salad dressing of choice? i like vinagrettes.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? does costa vida count as sit down? because i sit down when i wolf down those awesome burritos.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? ummmcostavidaburritos.
What are your pizza toppings of choice? cheese. and pepperoni, i guess.
What do you like to put on your toast? cinnamon and sugar and butter.

** TECHNOLOGY **
What is your wallpaper on your computer? a picture collage of one of the roommate photo shoots.
How many televisions are in your house ? one. we have a humble apartment.
What color cell phone do you have? silver.

**BIOLOGY **
Are you right-handed or left-handed? right.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? umm...i've peed out of a couple kidney stones.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? my groceries. up three flights of stairs.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? not that i know of

** BULLCRAPOLOGY **
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? no thank you.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $ 1000? make it $2000 and it's a deal.

** DUMBOLOGY **
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 2.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? one time i got pulled over because my license plate light was out. the cop was obviously very bored.
What did you want to be when you grew up? the first female president.
Last person you hugged? ummm i can't remember.

** FAVORITOLOGY **
Season? spring!
Holiday? thanksgiving!!
Day of the week? i like thursdays. because after october 21 i won't have any class on fridays!

** CURRENTOLOGY **
Missing someone? i miss my fambly.
Mood? antsy.
Listening to? the stupid movie on ABC family.
Watching? the stupid movie on ABC family.
Worrying about? i'm worry-free at the moment.

the tradition continues.

so this past weekend was conference. if you don't know what conference is, i invite you to join the church of jesus christ of latter day saints to find out more! ->www.lds.org . just kidding....but seriously. anyway, my parents came up like the normally do and it was a fantastic time for all! except when my mom experienced a bout of vertigo on friday night. i'm pretty sure that wasn't a fantastic time for her...luckily she got over it by the next day and we filled our tummies with kneader's french toast and our hearts with spiritual goodness.

on sunday we went up to salt lake and stood in the rain for stand-by tickets to the morning session. it was rainy, but we were happy. because we love each other!

after conference was over we made our way through the anti-mormon protesters and a man dressed up like satan to find cousin kimball. he's in the process of biking across america. why, you ask? because he can. that's why. i didn't ask or anything, but i'm pretty sure his thighs are bigger than my head. yours probably would be too if you biked from maine to oregon.

i love having my parents come up for conference- i like that we've established the parent's weekend extravaganza tradition. twice a year they not only get to catch a glimpse of my life here in provo, but they get to feed me too! i love them. the end.

toot toooooot!

so i have some pretty freaking exciting news, but when i share it it's going to sound like i'm tooting my horn a little bit. but you know what? i'm gonna toot it so if you have a problem with that, i suggest you waste some time reading a different blog.

so a few weeks ago, my french teacher (you know, the one that i want to be when i grow up) was like, "amy come talk to me after class." first thought: crap. she's going to kick me out of her class because i'm murdering the french language. imagine my jaw-dropping shock when she started asking about what year in school i am and how many credits i have because she's interested in hiring me as a STUDENT INSTRUCTOR for french, starting in january. i'm pretty sure my jaw did in fact drop while i simultaneously peed my pants in excitement. a student instructor as in i would teach 101 classes at byu. "we have a policy of only hiring seniors for this job, but if you're close enough to the credit requirement by the end of the semester i'd like to make an exception for you because i think you have a lot of potential." (insert silent scream of glee.) so i got some recommendations and filled out a little application and commenced to wait.

today i got tired of waiting, so i decided to be a go-getter and inquire about my status. i had an oral interview with my professor at the end of which she gave me some recommendations of things i could do to improve. she told me that i'm very close to being at the level required to teach (advanced low) and that by the end of the semester she's confident i will have achieved it. "you're good right now, and i don't give out compliments easily." (it's true. she doesn't.) i may or may not have passed out then.

anyway, the point is I'M SO EXCITED! this would be such an amazing opportunity to not only improve my french but to get some really good experience teaching. AH! every time i think about it i get all giddy. and to have the woman who is famous (infamous?) for being intensely hardcore about french kind of rooting for me motivates me to work so much harder so i can get better. basically all i want to do right now is run around my apartment screaming ecstatically. so...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

if only we got paid for this...

the sunday roommate photo shoot has been solidified as a tradition. stay tuned for more exciting volumes and locations around provo! this week featured: the castle by the mental hospital. oh sweet enchantment!(you can click on the collages to make them bigger, if you so desire)

rooney and flirting with idiocy

so do you ever have those weekends where at least once you're struck by the thought "OH MY GOSH I LOVE MY LIFE SO MUCH!" i have those sometimes. like this past weekend for example, when i got to go see ROONEY for $3 in provo. i know. three things you thought you would never see together in one sentence. i love rooney. it was such a good show, and that's saying something because i'm not really much of a concert person. i don't particularly like being covered in other people's sweat or being sardined into a screaming crowd, but surprisingly enough it was when i was sandwiched in the midst of all the chaos that my "OH MY GOSH I LOVE MY LIFE SO MUCH" thought struck me.
on another not so awesome note, i totally fell down the stairs on sunday. concrete stairs. concrete stairs leading to two apartments full of people with their doors wide open. basically what i'm saying is that at least 20 people witnessed me in a jumbled heap at the bottom. who's an idiot? oh right. me. but look at the sweet battle wound i got from my fight with the stairs:

and there's a rather large bump to go along with that pretty array of colors.

STRIKE!

so i went to the store the other day with the intent of buying groceries and razors- mine is getting rather dull, and nobody likes a dull razor. anyway, i squeak my little grocery cart off in search of the venus razor cartridges (or whatever they're called) and upon my arrival in the aisle i gasp in horror:
"$22 FOR AN 8 PACK OF RAZORS?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
is that not one of the most outrageous things you've heard in your life? ok maybe not in your entire life, but at least in the past few hours. TWENTY-TWO DOLLARS! That is $2.75 per razor. i couldn't bring myself to buy them.
"Nope. I'm just going to stop shaving my legs."
At this point, the guy looking at toothpaste next to me stopped looking at toothpaste and started eying me in a frightened and almost disgusted way. i think he was probably expecting me to whip out a lighter and burn my bra or something. and then i walked away with my $22 still safely in my checking account and a little extra feminist bounce in my step.

provo's next top model

sunday, sunday, sunday. what to do on a sunday? oh right. have a roommate photoshoot to capture the wonders of downtown provo.

here we are showing our love and appreciation for our photographer, adam robinson.

the beautiful breakfast

so today the gods smiled upon me and instead of slowly drifting in and out of consciousness in a junior high school classroom observing teaching techniques from 7:30-12, i got to leave at 9:30. what to do with all that extra time? eat a quality breakfast of course. some say it's the most important meal of the day, but for me it's usually the most ignored meal of the day. but not today.

at first i was just gonna go for the regular bowl o' cereal routine- keep it simple you know. but then i was like "hey, i bought some fruit last night when i went grocery shopping..." one thing led to another and suddenly i had the most beautiful arrangement of cereal i've ever beheld in my life sitting on the counter.

please try and tell me that does not look lovely.
go on. try.

beautiful breakfast=happy amy

thus we learn two important things about me:
1. i like to eat pretty food.
2. i like to post pointless blogs about eating pretty food.

encarNACioooooon!

so i found a new profession: luchador.

here we are, training.

oorrrrr maybe i'll be a rockette.
orrrr maybe i'll just be awesome all the time.

on another note, i survived the first week of school. and you know what? it was really good. none of my classes make me want to shoot myself in the face, but then again it's only the first week. i basically want to be my french teacher. she just became my new hero. and my creative writing class is going to be intense. this is more or less a direct quote from the first day: "i'm going to hurt your feelings in this class. i'm going to rip your writing apart. you're not going to like me. but i do it because i love you." and even though i kind of wanted to pee my pants (in a oh-my-gosh-this-guy-freaks-me-out way), i'm excited about it.