reminiscing.

so while rummaging around in my closet at my parents' house, i found my senior prom dress. i find really funny things in this closet.

so i tried on my dress. it still fits.


so i still love my dress. i still never want to go back to high school.

aah i'm prom queen all over again!
barf.

december.

i've tried to block out the first half of december from my mind as much as possible, because in all honesty the last two weeks of school are terrible because teachers think it's really cute and fun to tack on all sorts of projects and papers before the semester ends, and then tell you to go study for your finals after you kill yourself trying to turn it all in. i swear, even though i go to BYU, i wonder sometimes if these professors have contracts with satan.

however, in the midst of all this weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, there was time for some fun. my roommate lindsay's birthday was on the 5th, so we let her pick anything she wanted to do...and then we did it. this included eating at a taiwanese restaurant where grace and i tried out the only two phrases we know in chinese (taught to us by lindsay, tried out on the restaurant owner): "hey there handsome!" and "i love you." both of which got slightly confused (but i think secretly pleased) reactions from the man.

lindsay+brother sean
exhibit a: amy and matthew, nicely posing for a picture.

exhibit b: grace and phil, not.


in an attempt to bring some christmas spirit into our apartment, amandine and i borrowed a...rather THE christmas tree from our apartment complex's common room and put it in our living room. look how we glow with christmas cheer!

we eventually returned it. mostly because we were forced. bahhumbug.

then grace, amandine, and i gave each other presents.


yay christmas!

november.

so...i haven't posted since i had kidney stones. perhaps you all thought i was dead. i'm not, i'm just a terrible blogger. so here you go: recap of november.

1. THANKSGIVING: while the journey started out extremely traumatizing (i.e. my car broke down on the freeway, cue frantic calling, hysterical laughter, and eventual return to provo), we eventually got a rental car and recommenced the journey. we being myself and my roommate Amandine who is from FRANCE! i wanted to give her the experience of an authentic american thanksgiving. i had to explain that car failure was not typically part of the tradition.

thanksgiving mainly consisted of two things: turkey, and baby zoey.

she usually wears clothes, but obviously prefers nudity.

did i mention that in the car confusion, my make-up bag and curling iron got left in provo? thanksgiving au natural!

the turkey weekend also including what i like to call "introducing amandine to nature's wonders extravagaaaanzaaaa!" a little long, but accurate in its description. my dad took us girls out into the desert for a day of geocaching. and amandine met cactus.



then we took her to shoot guns. the french girl. who has never touched a gun in her anti-gun french life.

she likes it, mikey!

just look at that hyperextension.

we then had to bid farewell to the beautiful arizona sun and sky (and my family), and head back to provo for two and a half weeks of cruel and unusual punishment.

my body hates me

so i survived swine flu, and i figured that would be my major illness for this semester (because i generally allow my immune system one sick leave per semester, i know--so generous). anyway, i'm happily going about living my happy life, talking to my mom on the phone on sunday night when all of the sudden i start feeling this very familiar and very foreboding pain in my lower left back.

like kidney stone pain.

and i was immediately like, "oh crap mom. i think i have kidney stones again." and then she was immediately like "oh no, amy." (my mom would never say "oh crap.") what makes this even MORE fun was that i was sitting on the couch in my man friend's apartment, and so he got the ultimate privilege of seeing me writhing on the floor in agony, and then throwing up in his toilet! what a champ.

so going off of the previous 2 kidney stone experiences that i've already had, i figured i would want to die for about 20 minutes, then the wave would pass. WRONG. after writhing for approximately 35 minutes, i called my mom again, freaked her out some more, and then was ordered to go to the emergency room. so we went (we=grace, matthew, me).

let me tell you, the ER isn't anything like what they show on the show "ER." I felt very deceived. There was no one running around (except for me, running back and forth to the bathroom to puke), no gurneys, no one yelling "stat!" We might as well have been having a tea party. i eventually got a room, a hospital gown, and a nice IV that pumped some serious narcotics into my body.

anyway, i'll spare you the details on the sort of bodily pyrotechnics that pain medications inspire in me, just know that it is not pretty. but i gave birth to a gnarly lookin' stone this morning, so now i'm a proud momma so glad to be off pain meds.

in the words of matthew,
"Drugs for Swine Flu: $30
Pain Killers for Kidney Stones: some fifty odd dollars
Having a demon cast out of your own body . . . priceless)

There are some things money can't buy, and there's some things you couldn't pay me to do. For just such things . . . there's Amy Hansen"

sooooeeeeeeey!

hey everybody, try to guess what face i'm making beneath this swine flu mask!



that's right people, i'm one of the thousands of victims that have fallen prey to the malicious virus. still can't figure out what it has to do with pork. i'll keep you updated.

the tradition continues...still

parents' weekend extravaganza fall 2009! and fall colors to prove it.

we thank thee o god, for a prophet

a picture can speak a thousand words, and this one says a lot.

in a nation filled with constant criticism, rumor-milling, nasty email chains, and overall negativity, i think president monson displays a shining example of how not only (but perhaps especially) members of the LDS church but people in general need so desperately a spirit of respect and love for all. President Obama and President Monson surely have very opposing views on many things. Maybe President Monson thinks Obama's health care plan is the worst idea ever. Maybe Obama thinks President Monson is delusional for claiming to speak to God. But when it comes down to it, just because they have differing, maybe even opposing opinions, they both possess the basic courtesy of respect.

To quote another Latter-Day prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley said, "...We must work harder to build mutual respect, an attitude of forbearance, with tolerance one for another regardless of the doctrines and philosophies which we may espouse. Concerning these you and I may disagree. But we can do so with respect and civility...But there is greater strength in the God-given mandate to each of us to work for the uplift and blessing of all His sons and daughters, regardless of their ethnic or national origin or other differences." (quoted from Dallin H. Oaks, "Weightier Matters")

basically my point here is this: there are a lot of things you might not like. there are a lot of things you might not agree with. and that's fine. but as soon as we open the door to disrespect and insolence, we also start down the path of hard-heartedness, hatred, and destruction of many of the basic principles that govern our beliefs and our nation, or at least the nation we should all be striving to uphold.

finer things club, french house chapter.

so i have a new love of my life. his name is tangerine orange zinger herbal tea (still word of wisdom approved!). seriously. we have a relationship. every night, i heat up my red tea pot, get my red tea cup ready, and smell the sweet and tangy aroma of the oranges while the tea gets cool enough to drink. and then i drink it all up and i'm happy inside. i'm not addicted. i can stop whenever i want. but really, why would i want to?




on another note, since i've been drinking herbal tea every night before i go to bed, i've also been sleep walking a lot more. coincidence?

A+

we had a special musical number today in church that reminded me of how much i love this song.

and this video reminds me of how much i love MOTAB and how excited i am to see them in just a few weeks!

really.

since when did it become such a huge deal for a president to address the people? calm down, americans. take a leaf outta laura bush's book:

On Monday, former first lady Laura Bush said she supported President Barack Obama's decision to speak to the nation's school children. Mrs. Bush said the president deserved the respect that goes with the office ...and that there is a place for the president to encourage children to stay in school.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/07/laura-bush-praises-obama_n_278917.html

want list.

1. my long hair back. (i KNOW i do this every time i cut my hair. but i want those long shiny locks back on my head.)

see, look.

2. more hours in the day/scholastic calendar so i can take linguistics classes.

growing pains

"i hope she isn't bulimic though, because i think she's really nice and bulimia is retarded." direct quote from the journal of a 13 year old amy.**

so i'm at home in AZ for the break between terms and i was amusing myself by reading the journals i kept from 1999-2006. seriously. i was laughing out loud. the first entry in my journal when i was in 5th grade consisted of me describing which gel pens i liked and why ("i like the silver one because it looks pretty"...yeah). it was mostly just so funny/embarrassing to read how dramatic and typically adolescent i was (not that i'm a fully matured woman of grand experience or anything, but i'd like to think i've made some progress since the gel pens), and how i thought i was never going to survive ____________ (insert: middle school, junior high, high school), make new friends, or legitimately need a bra.

it made me think back to this history class i took where we studied society/ culture during the early modern period, and a lot of the primary sources we used were ordinary peoples' journals from that time. and then i laughed even more, because i seriously pity any historian 200 years from now that stumbles upon my little composition notebooks and tries to extract historical conjectures about life during my oh-so-turbulent teens. between gel pens, 13 year old's philosophies on eating disorders, and all the drama of high school and heartbreak, all i can say is: eat your hearts out, future historians.


**please note: i'm not making fun of bulimia, or people who suffer from it. i'm making fun of my 13 year old self and my really ridiculous ideas about life.

evasion tactics

i KNOW, i know i already posted once today about something totally useless and unimportant. but i'm avoiding studying for my finals, so i'm going to post something else just as useless and unimportant: i'm in love.

Love, Exhibit A: Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. Simultaneously really ugly and really cool. I feel like they would bring me a little happiness every time I looked down at my feet.


Love, Exhibit B: Over-the-knee boots with a fold-down option. What's not to love?


tortured sigh...

amy's word of the day

ad-dic-tion[uh-dik-shuhn]
-noun: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/addiction)

amy's alternate definition: sonic happy hour, every day 2-4 pm. severe cessation trauma indeed.

le snobisme

so me and some frenchies had a snob party today. this entailed us getting snobbed up, eating cucumber sandwiches, and only speaking in really obscure and snobby tenses in french. c'était magnifique. the french are always seen as snobs anyway, so we decided to embrace it. we spent the evening talking about how amazing we are, critiquing commoners, and mostly just basking in the light of our haute-couture.

vous aimeriez bien être aussi cool que nous.

is this real life?

1. for the first time in 5 weeks, i showered like a normal person rather than a flamingo. that's right people, the boot is being phased out. i still have to wear it for one more week when i go to class, but around my apartment i'm free at last! so lately i've taken to singing the pinocchio song "i've got no strings." i feel like it's appropriate.

2. watch this. it will make you pee your pants.

one step closer to the celestial kingdom...

so guess what grace is mysteriously hiding inside that green towel:


it's...BREAD! homemade bread! made in our home by...


...a breadmaker! provided by...


mrs. megan robinson. i love married people. they get all kinds of cool stuff when they get married which means they can give me all sorts of cool stuff they don't need. isn't she pretty? i like her. but not just because she gives me breadmakers. there are lots of other reasons too.


let's not forget blender, the other newest edition to the amy hansen kitchen. isn't he cute?


i'm so domestic.

provo ponderings.

disclaimer: this post contains rantings which may or may not be interpreted as "bitter." but please know that i am far too young to be legitimately bitter about anything in life, so rantings are permissible in moderation.

so one of my most favoritest things that has been introduced to me this summer in provo is the farmer's market every saturday. some of the booths are dumb and (in the words of grace) "kitschy," selling things like really ugly lawn decorations or snow cones (which is fine if you have a 5 year old with you). but there are other booths that are just legitimately cool. like two weeks ago, i ate some hungarian food homemade right in front of me by an actual hungarian woman who spoke with an accent and was missing some important teeth. and it was ridiculously good, not like "hey let's go to cafe rio" kind of good, but more like "wow this is an explosion of exotic flavors on my tongue and I LIKE IT." and today i ate some middle eastern food prepared by people from egypt and i tried out the 4 or 5 words i learned on my one day of arabic 101, and there were little girls running around speaking arabic and i got a free cup of hibiscus juice. yeah, hibiscus like the flower. they made juice out of it and it was probably one of the most beautiful colors i've ever seen. and as i was sitting on the grass eating and watching a really old man play the guitar and sing, i thought, "wow, i never would have thought this kind of thing existed in provo." somewhere in this little town i thought solely revolved around BYU there is an iranian woman who speaks farsi and who has a bunch of egyptian friends who make some killer pepper dip. and there's also a hungarian woman who never uses canned food but makes everything from scratch. these people are genuinely interesting. and i like that.

contrast this with the vapid conversations and social interactions encountered pretty much everywhere at BYU, but more specifically today sitting by the pool. let me start with another disclaimer: i love BYU. i'm glad i'm here. i think it is an excellent university and a fun place to make friends and have good experiences. BUT. sometimes i can't help but sigh in boredom over the constant see-and-be-seen culture here. and don't get me wrong. i'm just as guilty of it as everyone else. but i'm bored of listening to conversational patterns as boys try to get girls' numbers and girls giggle and pretend like they don't know exactly what's going on (and i'm even more bored of having to go through it myself). "hey, (insert girl's name here), text me later if you still want to play." seriously? first of all, if you want to "play" with (girl's name), how about you use your words like a big boy and ASK her. and second of all, if (girl's name) wanted to "play" with you, she probably would have already found a gigglingly manipulative way to get you to ask her in the first place 23 minutes ago.

so i'm ranting a little bit. but it's ok. and i decided today that i'd like to live in oregon. the end.

exceeds expectations.

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up? The ones I have read are in bold:

THE ALCHEMIST
ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND • Lewis Carroll
ANIMAL FARM • George Orwell
ANNA KARENINA • Leo Tolstoy
ANNE OF GREEN GABLES • L M Montgomery
ARTEMIS FOWL • Eoin Colfer
THE BFG • Roald Dahl
BIRDSONG • Sebastian Faulks
BLACK BEAUTY • Anna Sewell
BLEAK HOUSE • Charles Dickens
BRAVE NEW WORLD • Aldous Huxley
BRIDESHEAD REVISITED • Evelyn Waugh
BRIDGET JONES’S DIARY • Helen Fielding
CAPTAIN CORELLI’S MANDOLIN • Louis de Bernières
CATCH 22 • Joseph Heller
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE • J D Salinger
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY • Roald Dahl
A CHRISTMAS CAROL • Charles Dickens
THE CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR • Jean M Auel
COLD COMFORT FARM • Stella Gibbons
THE COLOUR OF MAGIC • Terry Pratchett
THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO • Alexandre Dumas
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT • Fyodor Dostoyevsky
DAVID COPPERFIELD • Charles Dickens
DOUBLE ACT • Jacqueline Wilson
DUNE • Frank Herbert
EMMA • Jane Austen
FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD • Thomas Hardy
GIRLS IN LOVE • Jacqueline Wilson
THE GOD OF SMALL THINGS • Arundhati Roy
THE GODFATHER • Mario Puzo
GONE WITH THE WIND • Margaret Mitchell
GOOD OMENS • Terry Pratchett
GOODNIGHT MISTER TOM • Michelle Magorian
GORMENGHAST • Mervyn Peake
THE GRAPES OF WRATH • John Steinbeck
GREAT EXPECTATIONS • Charles Dickens
THE GREAT GATSBY • F Scott Fitzgerald
GUARDS! GUARDS! • Terry Pratchett
HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS • J K Rowling
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE • J K Rowling
HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE • J K Rowling
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN • J K Rowling
HIS DARK MATERIALS • Philip Pullman
THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY • Douglas Adams
THE HOBBIT • J R R Tolkien
HOLES • Louis Sachar
I CAPTURE THE CASTLE • Dodie Smith
JANE EYRE • Charlotte Brontë (SO MANY TIMES. favorite.)
KANE AND ABEL • Jeffrey Archer
KATHERINE • Anya Seton
THE LION,THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE • C S Lewis
LITTLE WOMEN • Louisa May Alcott
LORD OF THE FLIES • William Golding
THE LORD OF THE RINGS • J R R Tolkien
LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA • Gabriel García Márquez
THE MAGIC FARAWAY TREE • Enid Blyton
MAGICIAN • Raymond E Feist
THE MAGUS • John Fowles
MATILDA • Roald Dahl
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA • Arthur Golden
MIDDLEMARCH • George Eliot
MIDNIGHT’S CHILDREN • Salman Rushdie
MORT • Terry Pratchett
NIGHT WATCH • Terry Pratchett
NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR • George Orwell
NOUGHTS AND CROSSES • Malorie Blackman
OF MICE AND MEN • John Steinbeck
ON THE ROAD • Jack Kerouac
ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE • Gabriel García Márquez
PERFUME • Patrick Suskind
PERSUASION • Jane Austen
THE PILLARS OF THE EARTH • Ken Follett
A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY • John Irving
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE • Jane Austen
THE PRINCESS DIARIES • Meg Cabot
THE RAGGED TROUSERED PHILANTHROPISTS • Robert Tressell
REBECCA • Daphne du Maurier
THE SECRET GARDEN • Frances Hodgson Burnett
THE SECRET HISTORY • Donna Tartt
THE SHELL SEEKERS • Rosamunde Pilcher
THE STAND • Stephen King
THE STORY OF TRACY BEAKER • Jacqueline Wilson
A SUITABLE BOY • Vikram Seth
SWALLOWS AND AMAZONS • Arthur Ransome
A TALE OF TWO CITIES • Charles Dickens (i believe i was supposed to read that one in high school...)
TESS OF THE D’URBERVILLES • Thomas Hardy (definitely made me want to DIE)
THE THORN BIRDS • Colleen McCullough
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD • Harper Lee
A TOWN LIKE ALICE • Nevil Shute
TREASURE ISLAND • Robert Louis Stevenson (
THE TWITS • Roald Dahl
ULYSSES • James Joyce
VICKY ANGEL • Jacqueline Wilson
WAR AND PEACE • Leo Tolstoy
WATERSHIP DOWN • Richard Adams
THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS • Kenneth Grahame
WINNIE THE POOH • A A Milne
THE WOMAN IN WHITE • Wilkie Collins
WUTHERING HEIGHTS • Emily Brontë

so...22. i may not be the most well-read person in the world, but at least i more than tripled BBC's expectations. and now i've got some good ideas for my reading list in between summer and fall terms.

the grand canyon state welcomes YOU!

so this past weekend, in honor of pioneer day, i got the heck out of utah. grace, russell, and i all took a little voyage down to the motherland (actually grace's motherland is kansas but we'll just pretend here) for some good times in the searing sun.


this is where we got really lost after missing the turn-off for the 20 (cough, russ, cough). and then grace went to get directions from the lady at the gas station which we misinterpreted in thinking that the left turn coming out of the gas station counted...but it didn't. thus this picture was born where we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere developing theories about how the lady at the gas station was probably trying to kill us.


lucky for us though, the detour afforded us some very spectacular scenery.


"oh the glories of nature! what are men compared to rocks and trees!"


hello arizona.



grace also was shocked and horrified to find out that scorpions live in arizona. here's a direct quote: "there are scorpions here?! this is a civilized country! if you can eradicate malaria you can definitely eradicate scorpions!!" ooh kansans...

missions are cool...

but it's even COOLER when your friends get back!

here are two of the reasons freshman year at BYU was one of the most hilarious years of my life. i'm so glad they're back.

funny.

no clever title. i just love harry potter.

so harry potter 6=best one yet. seriously, it was really good. normally the movies are dumb and you only get excited because it's fun to go at midnight and it reminds you of how much you love the books. but this one was actually quite satisfying! witty dialogue, over-acting not quite as prevalent as in the others, generally accurate plotline, and great special effects! i want to go see it again and again! (ok maybe minus the second again. that might be pushing it.)

oh and don't worry. we dressed up and waited in line for 4 hours. because we're just that cool.

tri-wizard tournament at BYU. because everyone loves harry potter.


hermione, sexy ron, draco malfoy, and harry.


susannah casting an unforgivable curse. shame on her.


we thought it was appropriate to read harry potter while waiting for harry potter.


sweet victory and an aisle seat for the handicapable!

color update!

hey everybody, look at my gross ankle! 360 and aerial perspectives for your viewing pleasure.

i get by with a little help from my friends.

so today. aah, today. i woke up dreading the day because i knew it would involve gratuitous crutching. (i am so already not a fan of crutching.) Oral Proficiency Interview at 1:00, crutching to the library to check out a book to study, crutching to the BYU bookstore to buy a blue book, and then (the culmination of my dread and horror) crutching across campus to the testing center--the building that is quite possibly the farthest away from any building i ever go to on campus. but i am blogging now to tell you that i survived. and i know it sounds super cheesy, but as i was reflecting on my day, i realized how much i really was blessed throughout it.

first off, grace gave me a ride to school. she got done with class at 10:00 and didn't have anything to do for the rest of the day. then, i went to go have my interview and when i got done, i crutched my way down to the outside of the building where i had to take a little rest on a bench. then i started thinking, oh my gosh. how am i going to make it to the bookstore and up those stairs to buy a blue book? i didn't want to call grace and make her come all the way back to campus just to buy me a blue book. cue hopeless despair. but then, low and behold as i get up and start crutching my way over, i see grace and her shining face riding towards me on her bike. apparently her friend had called her and asked to have lunch on campus. hello answer to my prayers.

then, i went to the library to study. and i studied with the black cloud of the epic journey to the testing center over my head, wondering how i was ever going to accomplish it. a few hours later i finally got up the courage to start crutchin' again. the first leg of my journey consisted of the library to the courtyard of the JFSB. then i sat down, feeling discouraged. i decided not to look quite so pathetic by pretending to go over flash cards when all of the sudden someone sits down next to me--my good friend phil! he always makes me laugh. like, really laugh, not just polite laugh. so we had a funny little conversation and my spirits were boosted enough to make the second leg of the journey over to the SWKT where i sat my sorry little butt down on a bench and pretended to study again.

as i was sitting there again, i see another one of my friends (who, by coincidence happened to be named phil as well) who took pity on me and stopped to talk for a little bit. after this, i started crutching again. i made it to the JSB and decided it was a good place to rest my pathetic self. and not even a minute later, this random girl comes over and sits by me and starts talking, asking me if i'm going to the testing center, how i hurt my foot, telling me about how she broke her ankle awhile back and how much she hates crutches too and understands that it's super hard, and then even offering to quiz me for my test. seriously, one of the nicest random people i have ever met.

and that's when i realized, on every single leg of the horrifying journey i was dreading all day long, there was someone there to help me, to talk to me, to cheer me up, to make me laugh. and that's how i know god loves me.

america's next top model: handicapable edition

so...apparently i actually did break a bone. look how cool i am with my boot.