this is how my brain works.

when i kill bugs, namely spiders, i always have this slightly irrational thought process. of course the civilized thing to do would be to dispose of the smashed-to-a-bloody-pulp creature in a wad of toilet paper. but i can't help but want to leave it on the floor/wall/whatever, as a warning to his friends. like, "learn from your buddy--stay away, or suffer the same fate." you know, kind of like what pirates or whoever did back in the day to keep people away from their pirate islands or whatever. yeah. like that.

also, (wearing all white+black lights)x dance party=awesome/i come home looking like this. (also awesome)

i went to bed far too late and i'll probably be a total zombie today, but it was totally worth it.

if you're a man, you're probably not going to want to read this

dear uterus,

i hate you. you make my body and my brain totally freak out. i'm 22, so unless i die at the age of 44, mid-life crises are not appropriate. stop prompting them.

also, i realize that the church teaches about year supply and what-not, but it's really not necessary to retain 10 pounds of water within my body. these preservation techniques, by the way, are totally thwarted by the raging desire to eat anything and everything in my path.

what i'm saying here is, your behavior is disappointing. you are on probation until further notice.

xoxo,
amy

move along people, there's nothing witty here.

this is called slacklining. it's really hard, and makes your legs wobble in ways previously unimaginable.





i promised everyone a really witty blog post, but you know what?

no.

brought to you by tristan higbee.

for better understanding about why this exists, go here.

my life should be a tv show.

last night, i was gearing up to take a nice, hot shower and jump into bed. i was pretty excited about this, because it meant that i was going to get to bed before 10 (and also i'm 70 years old). i turned on the water, waiting for the steam to rise.

no rising. whaa? i felt the water. cold. hmm. i anticipated a problem. i recalled the conversation i had recently overheard about how our hot water was potentially going to get shut off. i had disregarded it, mostly because i was on facebook at the time and nothing enters my consciousness when i'm in the zone.

my thought process: "does this really happen in real life? that's not possible. peoples' hot water only gets shut off on tv shows and movies. is this real life? am i being punked?" i considered looking for hidden cameras, but instead i called holli.

me: "hey holli...what are you doing?"
holli: "nothin, what are you doing?"
me: "i'm standing in my room in my bathrobe...so...my hot water got turned off...are you at home?"
holli: "yes. would you like to come shower at my house?"
me: "yes. see you soon."

so i walked down the street with a towel over my shoulder, carrying my shampoo. this is my life.

skirts are becoming my mortal enemy.

you know what? i'm just gonna say it.

I HATE HAVING TO SIT LIKE A LADY.

sitting like a lady is so overrated. remember that whole side-saddle horseriding thing they used to do back in the day for ladies? do you see people nowadays sitting on horses like that? no. wanna know why? BECAUSE IT'S STUPID.

you know what else? i figured out why schools never have any money. it's because they spend all of it on EXCESSIVE AIR CONDITIONING. seriously, i've never been so cold in my life. i don't even know WHY i bother shaving my legs anymore, because all that work is for naught as soon as i walk into what could be classified as arctic temperatures in the classrooms.

today i entertained myself (while still remaining arguably productive) by making a powerpoint vocabulary review. my artistic skills really know no bounds. here are a couple gems for you.

he is not naked, he is wearing spandex.
"please don't eat me!"
"raaaaaaaaar!"
ten bonus blog points if you can get the cinema reference in this picture.

i also made curry today. so i cut onions wearing ski goggles. what of it?

grace spilled quite a bit of rice.
"you destroy everything you touch!"

coming soon: slacklining and picnicking.

a clever title escapes me. all i can think about are eggo waffles.

i feel like i have a lot of things that i want to blog about, but none of them are particularly important. time for a list.

-got my praxis scores back. i'm not really one to brag and talk about my accomplishments...oh whatever. i have my own blog. i could talk about myself all day. ANYWAY. i did pretty good. take a look.

lalala i know freeeennnnch!

-today is saturday. monday is labor day. i can't even tell you how much i love not waking up at 5:30.

-recent joke i heard: "how many frenchmen does it take to defend a border? no one knows, it's never been done." haaa!

-for the first time in my byu career, i have my own room. i took some pictures.

that's my closet. and my mirror. and my toms flag.

that's my door, a wall, and me censoring the picture i got from my former art modeling days. you didn't think i would let just anyone see it, did you?

really, my room is just a room. i mostly just wanted to take a picture of my nook. i have a nook. i love my nook.


-i was recently overcome by a totally all-consuming and overwhelming craving for eggo waffles. clearly, the only solution was to go to costco and buy a 60 count box.


half-crazed devotion has never tasted so good.