freeways.

i love the freeway. you can go fast.

i hate the freeway. it's crowded, so you can't go fast.

i love the freeway. there are no stop lights.

i hate the freeway. people get in accidents, which makes you come to a complete stop on the freeway as if there was a seemingly infinite red light. today i added "being parked on the freeway" to my list of things that might appear in my personal hell. i keep a list to remind myself of these awful things, so that i might be more motivated to be a good person.

this morning, there was an accident on the freeway. my first thought was not, "Oh no! I hope they're ok!" it was actually, "dangit! now my way to school is blocked!"

i came to the conclusion (after contemplating what i would've done with the five years of my life that i lost by inhaling poisonous gas fumes from the truck i was parked behind for a half hour on the I-15) that i am a terrible person. obviously i need to go read my personal hell list again.

day two report.

don't get used to these daily reports. once i start actually doing something, i'll probably drop off the face of the planet all together. so what i'm saying is, enjoy it (or tolerate it) while you can (while you must).

heaven be praised, no meetings today. instead, i decorated a classroom. i also learned that my depth perception is awful when trying to line up posters, i can't cut a straight line to save my life, but dang i make a good looking bulletin board display.

i probably violated several district policies by standing on tables and stools to staple and tack (i would know if i would've actually paid attention at the meetings yesterday).

i hate the faculty bathroom, mainly because the walls are paper thin and i've always been squeamish about the idea of people being able to hear me pee. the faculty room is also highly stocked with caffeine. i've made it two days without giving in--let's see how long i can wake up before the sun without it.

when 3:00 came and it was time for me to leave, i cheerfully greeted my car as i stuck my keys in the ignition, but my car had no reply for me. the thing is, in the morning when i leave, it's dark. i turn my lights on. by the time i get to school forty minutes later, it's no longer dark, but i've long forgotten that my lights are on. what does this all mean, you ask? well, i'll tell you. it means that my car battery died and i wandered around the school searching for any person (preferably male) over the age of 16 to jump start my car.

awesome. i'm THAT student teacher.

first day report.

good news: i went through the entire first day of student teaching without encountering a single student. because students don't actually show up until thursday. today was 8 solid hours of teacher meetings.

(cue series of musings on how i could strangle myself with my new lanyard.)

i did get free lunch, though. tomorrow and wednesday will be teacher prep days where we set up the room, go over lesson plans, make seating charts, and various other real person real job stuff.

the first thing i heard upon walking into the office to check in this morning was from the secretary: "they're gonna work you to death!" she whispered to me with a coy smile as she walked me back to talk to the administrator.

thanks lady, that's exactly what i wanted to hear. i'll definitely keep her in mind as a good source of YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DIE feelings, if i'm ever low on those.

can you tell that i got up at 5:30 today?

also, half of the teacher population went to the university of utah, which is BYU's main rival. i don't know anything about sports, nor do i care. but i'd like to think that somewhere inside, i bleed cougar blue, so i pretended to be really loyal and true when people would make jabs about my school and our apparent lack of conference, whatever the heck that means. i have a feeling that'll get old pretty fast.

i brought home three textbooks with me, and they are ready and waiting for me to devour them in lesson plan creations. there is a little seedling of excitement in my heart, but i have a feeling that i'm really going to have to nurture it so it doesn't die a horrible, painful, stressed out death this semester.

end of first day report. stay tuned.

list.

things that make me happy:

wonderful weekend with whitney (and alliterations?)

i like that whitney is taking a train from san francisco to new york, and i especially like that i was her first stop on this epic cross-country voyage. i showed her the wonders of utah (waterfalls, rope swings, mormons, etc.) and she showed me some dang good new recipes. i love that girl.

much-needed mom time

mom came up for education week and stayed at my hooooouse! i thoroughly enjoyed taking care of her--namely forcing her to eat all of my baking creations. i loved having her here and was sad to see her go.

making food for people who like to eat

in the words of aunt susan, "another culinary triumph." cooking from the weekend with whitney and week with mom included: homemade mac 'n cheese, bread, hot chocolate, whipped cream, tortillas, scones, cheesecake, soup, shortbread cookies.
(not pictured: susan, lindsey, and mom eating a delicious meal of roasted red pepper tortellini soup. we had a near riot on our hands when i said i was going to put the picture up on my blog.)

plums
(also not pictured. you know what plums look like.)

new school supplies

weeeeeeee!

things that stress me out:

teaching lessons in relief society

lack of contract overlap in provo housing. seriously, where do they think we're going to go?

starting student teaching tomorrow

official badge, what?

i...just had a meltdown.

tell me again why i picked the cursed profession of educator?

in the spirit of education, let me show you this equation:

((student teaching starting august 23rd)+(30 minute drive to draper)x(school starting at 7:30)-(teachers required to be to school at least 30 minutes before school starts))x 5 days a week=EXPONTENTIALLY LESS PLEASANT AMY HANSEN

the freakin' glories of nature!

good news--not a post about cooking.

so i went rock climbing. on legit rocks, not like pieces of plastic bolted into a wall in an air-conditioned building. i was a little apprehensive about this whole hoisting myself up the side of the cliff, given my lack of upper...lower...well, body strength in general. and let's be honest here, i like being good at things, so i was expecting a frustration-filled afternoon of me getting irrationally angry at large pieces of stone.

however. i was quite pleasantly surprised to discover that i really enjoy rock climbing. it was so fun! it's like a puzzle, trying to figure out where to put my appendages. and ok, i kind of felt like spiderman, which was cool. and climbing harnesses are super flattering. not.


first climb. witness the initial misgivings, tentative explorations, and ultimate triumph.

the climbs got longer and more difficult (but not anything too crazy--i'm a newbie here, come on). the boys generally did them twice as fast as i did, but i like to tell myself that i did them with twice as much style. right?

this was the last climb. my arms were tired, thus leaving me with negative, rather than zero strength. i slipped a couple times, which was terrifying and whimper-inducing, and i ultimately skirted around the hardest part, but i touched those chains at the top, dangit!

here are some good shots of the men (grunt grunt, punch punch)

they were good sports to put up with my giddy squeals of "I DID IT! I DID IT!" after every climb.

anyway, it was excellent. hands-down the most amount of physical activity i've done in probably the last two years. which basically means that tomorrow, i probably won't be able to move. work from bed? most likely.

i think i have a problem.

hi, my name is amy, and i'm a bake-aholic. it's becoming quite the obsession, and i don't know how i'm going to kick the habit, because no one is trying to stop me. in fact, they encourage this addiction.

i made chocolate cake and frosting from scratch, and i am pretty dang pleased with myself. i learned how to cream butter--definitely had to look that one up. it was so fun to do it by hand--not (oh, the directions say that the mixture should be light and fluffy? well if by light and fluffy you mean thick and creamy, then yes! i did it!). it's times like this when i start lusting after electric kitchen appliances.


anyway, cake=good. just ask these two. i hired them for testimonials. i'll be paying them in cake.


next up, figure out how to cook without making my kitchen look like a war ravaged country. just call me amy the destroyer.

i have truly outwifed myself.

today i woke up to thunderstorms and rain. my room was still dark, thereby making it even harder than usual to drag my useless butt out of bed. as i was lying there, trying to motivate myself to move to the couch, the thought occurred to me:

"today would be a great day for soup...and bread."

with that, i was out of bed, putting on real clothes (ok, pants), and surveying my kitchen for ingredients that i had/would need. i also realized that i still owed my dutiful home teacher a cheesecake, so that went on the culinary endeavors list, too.

dropped holli off at school, dominated the grocery store, simultaneously whipped up homemade bread, butternut squash soup, and turtle cheesecake, absolutely destroyed my kitchen, and realized our sink is clogged. i just walked over to check it, and yes, after an hour, it's still full of dirty water.

sorry roommates...eat my food and love me again!!

beauty.


wham bam slam, thank you ma'am.


keepin the tradition of not showering till 4 alive!

i was born like this.

have you ever played that game where you shake your head back and forth really fast and blow raspberries and someone takes your picture?

well, maybe you should.

before:


after:




holli is the undisputed champion of this game. i can only dream of attaining her look of deformed, drunken zombie. obviously, i need to work on my technique.

even though i look like a hobo, i'm still getting paid.

so my job is pretty flexible, since the reason that this job exists is because i created it. i have come to learn that flexibility in the amy dictionary has a variety of definitions.

flex-i-ble
adjective
1. waking up whenever i want. this usually means around 10 am. i'm 22. get over it.
2. working in my pajamas, with my morning routine reduced to brushing my teeth and getting bed head out of my face so i can see the computer screen. showers generally occur around 3:30 or 4, and real clothes only occur after that point.
3. by the end of the summer, there will be a permanent indent in the exact shape of my rear on the couch where i sit and work every day.

i'm usually not embarrassed about this routine, until someone comes to the door and i have to answer it in my jammies, looking like this at 2:30 in the afternoon:


what this all means really is that one day, when i have to get a real adult job, i'm going to be verrry very sad.