what would freud say?

sometimes, i have really strange dreams.

like this one night that i dreamt i was dating alec baldwin, who could in reality be my father. but apparently it was a double date with my roommate megan. it just so happens that on our way to our [unspecified] date destination, alec baldwin urgently grabs my leg in what i interpret as an affectionate signal. (cue awkward dream feeling)

the scene mysteriously changes (as dreams often do) to the house that i grew up in in missouri, where i'm setting up a tv because alec baldwin and i are going to watch a movie. my parents keep coming in: "are you guys hungry? do you want some cookies? something to eat? something to drink? do you need anything?" etc., to which i respond, "MOM! play it cool! alec baldwin is here!" (cue rampant disapproval of my dating alec baldwin)

and thus the first part of the dream concludes. oh yeah, you heard right: the first part. when i lay down to take a nap later that day, my brain continues down this path of unconscious celebrity obsession.

i'm coming home to my super swanky apartment and check my mailbox (#309), but it's empty. i walk into the said super swanky apartment that i share with my husband (who is apparently alec baldwin) and i'm changing out of my professional work clothes when the nanny (who apparently takes care of the children i have with alec baldwin) stumbles in holding my naked child in one hand and a diaper in the other.

nanny: "you have GOT to change this diaper...i can't do it."

me: "are you drunk?"

nanny: "no way...i just...can't change this diaper..."

me: "um....you're fired."

and alec baldwin escorts her from our super swanky apartment.

the point of this story: figure out what the heck it is that i ate before dreaming this craziness, and NEVER EAT IT AGAIN.

also, the accompanying photo was created by my roommate megan.