that being said, i don't think physicals are real things. i think they're just jokes doctors play on people. like oh here, let me inject some of this tuberculosis virus into your arm and watch the weird-looking bubble it makes! it doesn't actually do anything but haha, isn't it funny looking? and not that i've ever experienced it, but that whole "turn your head and cough" thing? that can't be real.
but the worst is peeing in a cup. i have never experienced anything as demoralizing as peeing in a cup.
first of all, i forgot that i was going to have to do it. so i didn't have to go. at all. on top of that, there's a little door in the wall where there is literally someone waiting to take the luke-warm plastic cup supposedly full of my urine. i have a shy bladder as it is.
also, for some reason, as soon as my body knows that i have to pee in a cup, all previous sense of orderly aim apparently goes out the window. how is it that any other time, there's a nice clean stream, but as soon as i have to make it into a cup, it's like suddenly i have gravity-defying pee. so here i am, desperately trying to catch the three drops of pee my body can muster, and failing horribly. i finally get about enough to cover the bottom of the cup. and that's all i can do. show's over.
next time, i'm just going to pay someone for their pee.
7 comments:
Oh, Amy... you KILL me. I'm sitting here in the library and I was trying really hard not to laugh too loud while I was reading. Will you please teach me how to be funny like you? :)
I had too much pee last time! And how about that paper with instructions for both genders they give you along with the cup before you go in the pee room? You can't help but see the instructions for the other gender and be like "oh, that's, weird..." And they specify that they want a "mid-stream" sample. What?? Very tricky to perform.
Once the pee room was under construction so I had to produce my sample in the bathroom of the waiting area then carry it back through everyone to the front desk.
Isn't pee fun?
You are hilarious...I got my 20 good belly laughs for the day just reading your blog....love your cartoons! Sorry for the demoralizing day :(
peeing in a cup is annoying had to do it when i was pregnant..and i still have to do now in the military..got to love the random drug test they do.
You can have my pee!
the doctors eyes are the best part. and your legs, as always.
From Jeff:
AMY! I once had to pee in a cup at the plasma center. Except the girl that worked there was a good friend of mine (girlfriend's roommate). I went in, filled it up, and brought it back out. I told her I was done and tried to hand her the cup (already embarrassing), then she sees it and with an absolutely horrified look tells me I am supposed to leave it in the bathroom! I hurry up and cover up the cup so she can't see it anymore and run it back in there. I don't think I've ever seen her since without thinking of me trying to hand her my pee.
Post a Comment