candidely candide.

so i just finished reading candide by voltaire. i know, i sound so intellectual huh. (please don't be fooled.) anyhoo, despite being all in all depressing and a rather tedious read, there were a few things that inspired some deep ponderings and elicited a few chuckles out of me.

first, an amusing quote. the context is the main character (candide) has never been to paris before and is currently headed for france, so he's discussing the people and culture with his friend martin (who has previously spent time there):

"Is it true," said Candide, "that the people of Paris are always laughing?"
"Yes," replied the abbe, "but it is with anger in their hearts; they express all their complaints by loud bursts of laughter, and commit the most detestable crimes with a smile on their faces."

this definitely made me laugh, especially since voltaire was in fact french. i love it when people can smartly satirize their own culture without being totally ignorant or crass. i guess i have a lot to look forward to when i go to paris, huh? kidding...

the other thing that particularly stuck out to me in the story was the plight of the old woman (no, she didn't have a name. she was referred to as "the old woman" throughout the entire work). she was captured by soldiers at one point in her life, and as a method of torture they cut off one of her butt cheeks. so she spent the rest of her life with one butt cushion. when i really think about it, i know i shouldn't laugh or even be slightly amused by it. but come on. ONE BUTT CHEEK?! how would you sit down? would you walk funny? jeans would definitely be even harder to shop for (as if the process of selecting a nice fitting pair of denim wasn't difficult enough). imagine sitting on a bench in the old salt lake tabernacle with only one butt cheek. yikes.

so now i have to write a really deep and insightful paper combining the overall message of this story with two other works about my thoughts on the nature of evil when all i can think about are angry parisians and an old woman with only half a derriere.