ode to my dad

guys, today is my dad's birthday. 

well, tomorrow is my dad's birthday in america. but today is the day in the philippines, and since that is where he lives, that is what counts. 

paul hansen is really the best. he's the guy that taught me the importance of passenger safety in a car by always doing a random seatbelt check on road trips. these seat belt checks consisted of him waiting until everyone in the car was asleep or totally zoned out, then slamming on the breaks while screaming bloody murder and yelling "SEATBELT CHECK!!" us hansen children have never messed around with buckling up. 

he's the guy that goes out on december 23rd and buys a bunch of surprise christmas presents, despite my mom's protestations that she has ALREADY GOTTEN EVERYTHING ON THE LIST, HONEY. he's also the guy that secretly pays for peoples' meals at restaurants and then leaves before they even know what happened. 

he's the cute dad that asked me to dance at my cousin's wedding, even though they really should have just left me home locked in a closet or something because i had chosen that day to cut my own bangs and ended up looking like this: 

he's just a good guy. so dad, here's what we would do if you were here:

1. get up in the morning, hop in the jeep. go get a breakfast burrito.

2. eat it on the way to some out in the middle of nowhere location in the desert.

3. geocache all day, going through treacherous passes where mom gets nervous at least 4 times and you really put ruby to the test. i promise not to get car sick and ruin everything.

4. come back, probably take a nap.

5. wake up, go eat red robin. or some really good italian food. i don't know, you pick. it's your birthday, after all. 

6. come back, have some hot fudge pudding cake, and then watch that star trek movie that came out about a week after you went into the MTC. 

does that sound like an ok plan? let me know, and we can use it for 2015. i love you, dad, and i sure am glad you were born. 

just your typical saturday night here, guys.

some grubbin'

and some groovin'

take it from me, it's almost always a good idea to do zumba right after eating a cheeseburger. 

leftovers.

do you ever do this? you are eating food, like say, leftover cheesy breadsticks. hypothetically, of course.

you are enjoying said cheesy bread, and you get to the last bite of one. sink your teeth into it.

and it is not good.

probably because it is 2 days old and has been microwaved, but that is besides the point. you think to yourself, "i have a whole other cheesy breadstick waiting for me. do i really want to waste my stomach space and jaw energy chewing this unsatisfactory last bite, when i could just move on to the next one??" so you kind of just stop mid-bite, take it out of your mouth, and...

so you're telling me you don't ever do this.

gross, me neither.

2013 according to my phone

although it's not all-inclusive of all the things that happened this year, it's a pretty good snapshot.

you were a good one, 2013.

also,

we did a class play about hercules, guys. it was the best. they loved it so much!!!

they made the set.

this tree was hard. you have no idea how complicated it is to get your hands on a refrigerator box.

i made (and played) with their costumes.

i also got very good at whipping a toga together with a queen-sized sheet on a 3 foot body. (the second class here all destroyed my fine handy work before we could get the picture. ungrateful children...)
these kids are just the best.

beep bop boop!

remember how my computer decided to die a few months ago? well, in a recent slew of events involving apple trying to ruin my life, i decided to tempt fate by poking the power button on my computer. you know, just to see.
WEELLLLLLL...

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE, PEOPLE.
(seriously. i have no idea how this is possible.)
god bless us, every one!!!

look forward to more stuff like this:

check and check. merry christmas, sweetheart.

(it looks waaaay better when you squint your eyes a little bit.)

ALIVE

guys. i'm sorry.

i know i went through all the trouble of making you send me your email so i could register you to read this private blog, because i had promised you a humorous and intriguing look into my life as a 5th grade dual immersion teacher.

(guilty face)

as it turns out, i just have no life because of this job. also, my computer broke, so at this very moment i am hijacking grace's laptop to type this. the good news though, is that I LOVE MY JOB. seriously. it is awesome. i love my kids, all 46 of their stinky little faces. who knew that 10 year olds were actually the best? i never would have suspected. but really, they're smart enough to laugh at my jokes, but not quite at peak sassiness that will hit from years 12-17.

i'm starting to think that this job is giving me a glimpse into what it will be like to actually have children. i'm not kidding when i say that i love these kids. i think about them all the time. but i'm also not kidding when i say that they annoy the crap out of me sometimes. and make me want to kick puppies. and scream into pillows. but then, i always overflow with excitement and glee when i find an activity or idea that i just know they will love, because i get such a kick out of seeing them happy.

when i gave them their first science test, i think i was more nervous than they were. i seriously tossed and turned the night before, worrying about how they would do on it. did i teach them how to tell the difference between a chemical or a physical change well enough? do they really understand what the law of conservation of matter is? (spoiler alert: nope! that one is apparently still a mystery to them...something to revisit before state testing rolls around.)

i'm pretty sure, however, they understand how to make an electro-magnet, since i burned that lesson into their memory by pretending to electrocute myself. HA SUCKERS!!!

as first quarter comes to a close, here are some things that i have learned about myself, children, and being a teacher:

-folding paper is apparently REALLY hard. you give very explicit directions (all the while modeling the procedure) on how to fold ONCE vertically and 4 TIMES horizontally to get 10 squares, and you get kids with any number of squares, varying from 12 to 36. GUYS. 1X4. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

-hugs and high-fives from 10 year olds are surprisingly validating.

-grading is my #1 most-hated thing about teaching. hate. loathe. detest. curse.

-for all the talk about the "technology generation", these kids can't type up a paper to save their dang lives. our day in the computer lab made me want to kill myself. case in point:
        i look over and see little buddy literally pulling on his hair and in tears,         looking at me in a total panic.
        me, genuinely concerned: "what's wrong?!!"
        child: "HOW DO I GET TO THE NEXT LINE?!!!??!?!?!?!?!!!"
        me: ...
        child: (helpless and crying)
        me: (reaches down and presses "enter")

crisis averted, i guess. don't even get me started on teaching them how to print. apparently the little button with the PRINTER on it isn't a good enough clue.

sigh. they're dummies sometimes. but mostly they're so funny and smart and cute, and i am happy to be their teacher.