ALIVE

guys. i'm sorry.

i know i went through all the trouble of making you send me your email so i could register you to read this private blog, because i had promised you a humorous and intriguing look into my life as a 5th grade dual immersion teacher.

(guilty face)

as it turns out, i just have no life because of this job. also, my computer broke, so at this very moment i am hijacking grace's laptop to type this. the good news though, is that I LOVE MY JOB. seriously. it is awesome. i love my kids, all 46 of their stinky little faces. who knew that 10 year olds were actually the best? i never would have suspected. but really, they're smart enough to laugh at my jokes, but not quite at peak sassiness that will hit from years 12-17.

i'm starting to think that this job is giving me a glimpse into what it will be like to actually have children. i'm not kidding when i say that i love these kids. i think about them all the time. but i'm also not kidding when i say that they annoy the crap out of me sometimes. and make me want to kick puppies. and scream into pillows. but then, i always overflow with excitement and glee when i find an activity or idea that i just know they will love, because i get such a kick out of seeing them happy.

when i gave them their first science test, i think i was more nervous than they were. i seriously tossed and turned the night before, worrying about how they would do on it. did i teach them how to tell the difference between a chemical or a physical change well enough? do they really understand what the law of conservation of matter is? (spoiler alert: nope! that one is apparently still a mystery to them...something to revisit before state testing rolls around.)

i'm pretty sure, however, they understand how to make an electro-magnet, since i burned that lesson into their memory by pretending to electrocute myself. HA SUCKERS!!!

as first quarter comes to a close, here are some things that i have learned about myself, children, and being a teacher:

-folding paper is apparently REALLY hard. you give very explicit directions (all the while modeling the procedure) on how to fold ONCE vertically and 4 TIMES horizontally to get 10 squares, and you get kids with any number of squares, varying from 12 to 36. GUYS. 1X4. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

-hugs and high-fives from 10 year olds are surprisingly validating.

-grading is my #1 most-hated thing about teaching. hate. loathe. detest. curse.

-for all the talk about the "technology generation", these kids can't type up a paper to save their dang lives. our day in the computer lab made me want to kill myself. case in point:
        i look over and see little buddy literally pulling on his hair and in tears,         looking at me in a total panic.
        me, genuinely concerned: "what's wrong?!!"
        child: "HOW DO I GET TO THE NEXT LINE?!!!??!?!?!?!?!!!"
        me: ...
        child: (helpless and crying)
        me: (reaches down and presses "enter")

crisis averted, i guess. don't even get me started on teaching them how to print. apparently the little button with the PRINTER on it isn't a good enough clue.

sigh. they're dummies sometimes. but mostly they're so funny and smart and cute, and i am happy to be their teacher.