i have 20/13 vision but my observation skills are pretty lacking.

something happened today that has never happened to me before, but getting there was quite a journey. as told by texts:

obviously the lack of important punctuation confused me at first. and then i kind of thought that it seemed like a scene from a horror movie. "something...is...in the house...with me? WHAT IS IT. WHO IS IT. AM I GOING TO DIE?! WHAT KIND OF SURPRISE IS THIS! YOU'RE A MONSTER!"

but, reason quickly prevailed and i scampered outside to check the mail. i found some junk mail, and a package...for grace. 

so that was really it. no one has ever sent me a soggy phone book before. what a special day for me!!

just kidding. i had to walk around my house 4 times in my pajamas, checking both my doors as well as our upstairs neighbors' porch twice before FINALLY seeing this:

they are quite beautiful, and there is a giant tropical pinecone. or pineapple. i don't know. i might try it later to make sure. 

lately: chicago

i feel i should put a little disclaimer before this post. i don't TRY to make all my posts bathroom-focused, i guess that's just what my life is about sometimes. a lot of times. so...you've been warned. (again, sorry)

pictured: plane! cake shake! giant american flag! bean! mediocre fireworks! airport at 4am!

also pictured: severe digestion malfunctions.

you know what's really good for making good first impressions?

DIARRHEA.

like, "hi, i'm amy. i'm gonna need to use your bathroom. right now. but seriously."
sometimes it happens when you can't make a number 2 for 2 days and then you're like well i should probably take something for that so you do but then it doesn't work like it promised on the box so you take some more and then BAM suddenly when you're in a public place, like say, a restaurant, and whoowee does that medicine start working. and then it keeps working for the rest of the day. while you meet new people and continue hanging out in public places.

IT WAS PRETTY GREAT.

other than that though, the trip was pretty dreamy.

hey guys!!

i worked for four hours today and only got two stains on my shirt!